Ramblings of a Woman: Anamolies & Life 101
Life it turns on a dime. Things change so fast in my life you best hold onto your hat and anchor your feet firmly to the ground. Then there things that the more Things change the more they Stay the same.
I have not been writing simply because I am or was in limbo. All screeched to a halt with my move until Step 1, then Step 2. I liken it to setting up dominoes then you flick them over. Al fall down. I know it is all a process and looks a mess if you lack the vision or stand too close. Step back a bit, there… it all is in proper focus now See!. “Oh yeah”.
That folks has been my life and marriage for a (egads!) quarter of a century.
The man is an anomaly to me and my daughters most days. My life and yes his has been such. I go more with The Flow of things. Try to take it in stride. He struggles, wrestles, gets tired, then gets po’d, Then he takes his frustrations out on me. I admit I can watch it unfold too. I do not put up with most of it. Some of this I choose to ignore. Other things I set my feet (and teeth) firmly and as he pushes at me or pulls, I dig in deeper. I detest arguments and strife. Though I can out argue the devil he says. I like peace. *shrugs* So I pick my fights and refuse to waste my energies on things that will not matter in a day let alone a year or more from now.
This week saw my middle daughter in the ER again. Her boss is being a jerk. She is his reliable & hardest worker. (he stated this) and now he is treating her like dirt and threatening her her job. her Dr stated she needs to get out of their. So she is just now telling me “I used to look forward to going to work”. Not the case now. I understand her feelings. The job market is in a sorry state here as it is across the country.
My youngest daughter is a sweet thing. But she worries about me as I am her Touchstone as well as the Cornerstone in & of hr life. And here I am working on Not worrying. Anxiety disorders. “Gotta love em” NOT. My meds are a blessing. My new found sense of Self-Worth or Returned and Renewed actually, which is quite wonderful. Not much changed except my attitude. Yet it shows and my friends say I am All Shiny again. (Firefly fans know what I mean) Also I Shine Dark and the friends who know that meaning of that see me all sparkly (no not like the fake vampires of twilight!) too. So I say “It is all good”. Even if the light at the end of the tunnel flickers a bit. I am keeping My Faith in good things ahead for me & mine.
It is all part of Life 101 I have stated for years to the folks who read me. Life is our Classroom, Living is the Lesson. And me, I am still learning and I so I am a forever learning Student of Life. I like it this way.
Thanks for Listening!
Shining In The Dark,
Starra
With Few Words…
I was thrilling to his rapacious ways as he became even more salacious as I moaned and writhed underneath him. After we rode the waves of our joining we collapsed together with both of us expressing our gracious feelings with caresses and kisses in the aftermath of our sensual storm.
-Starra Neely Blade
(C)
Taking Flight
Some days she felt like a ghost of herself. Other days she felt so solid she could not move. She wanted to be light as a feather and release all her fears, worries, and burdens so as to unfurl her new found wings; and soar so high above the earth, touching the heavens and wrapping herself in clouds.
-Starra Neely Blade
(c) 20, March 2012
Thoughts Flowing
I seek my Center, I sit and stand to Become Grounded. I think how I want to become One. Yes I think of US too in all this. What I do and am, as well as become affects the US there is. Like the strands of the web of life, one strand can send either a shock wave or a resonating thrum to another. I want us to resonate. I want to resonate with Goddess, God and the Universe also in Synchronicity. To do all I need and want to do I simply must live in The Flow again.
So it begins, so it shall be.
And so I begin to chant:
Om Mani Padme Hum……
-Starra, Le Minx
(c) 23, Feb 2012
In Time, I’ll Fly Away
Some Fine Day I am going to pack up my things and Just Leave this Place. I’ll say goodbye with no regrets to make my way to where I ought to be.
Don’t ask when, how, where or any of that.. Future is shimmering behind a curtain of silver these days. I do not look. I just live each day with Hope Singing in My Heart.
Some days I cry because Here is not where I want to be. But it is where I have to be for awhile.
I wanted Roots, seems Deity is giving me Wings.
-Starra, Le Minx
(c) 23, Feb 2012
Uninspired, my pen lays
in a state of rigor; covered
not in glory but a neglected
sheet of writing paper.
“Fear and Falling”
Scared to fall or falling Yet Again, in love and in my life, I found myself falling anyways. Scared to feel these depths, these heights too. But like gravity we fall not always gently to the ground or into things like love. And in life we often get no choice in some things. Like reality there are hard and beautiful things, and sometimes they are both or one and the same. All I know is sometimes I have to hold on tight, others I must “Let Go, Let God/dess”… and I am still learning …I am the most imperfect person and yet still I seek to be a Useful Cracked Pot.
-Starra Neely Blade
(c) 2011
4, December 2011
You can’t say, I won’t write today because that excuse will extend into several days, then several months, then… you are not a writer anymore, just someone who dreams about being a writer.
Don’t just plan to write—WRITE. It is only by writing, not dreaming about it, that we develop our own style.
We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.
I write to define myself—an act of self-creation—part of my process of becoming.
