If only we could Stop ourselves Before we say the things we do. OR delete them as easily as we do from our computers.. erasing them from memory & the hurt they caused.
I deleted the hateful words he & I said last night. On my end it is gone at least from my inbox. Some still sting in my heart.
I will Will Myself to forget these harsh words from the times we argued before & the last time we “spoke” where I was a hurting bitch. I know that I was.
But I know he was hurting too. Nice guys hurt when they break off with you. Even if you are mad.. they do not deserve the shite. Pushy bugger that he is. :)
I like(d) that in him & can still appreciate why he pushed at me. I dig in & can “wallow”.
We are none of us perfect. I never believed in perfect. I believe in scars, faults, broken things and healing. I am the proverbial “useful” cracked pot after all.
Not as broken as I used to be. I can & will always thank him for that too.
So, I am this night time teary. (Thank the gods of kleenex!)
Sad and lonely. (I have my daughters, dog & cat)
But this too shall pass.
Time can heal is we let it.
I miss him, but I know/believe he needs to be far away from the likes of me at this time. Scorpios sting remember?! Not proud of that fact. And it will be okay. It has to ya’ know?
It is what it is, until it isn’t.
And as the kind & dear to me, lovely lonelyinsominiac stated:
You’re not stupid. You’re human. *hug*
She always encourages me & says just the right thing to me at the right time. I am so thankful for Friends & the Tumblr-verse.
Shine Dark My Beauties!