Talk with me. Not at me, to me, or down to me. I have a good mind, please treat me accordingly. I have even been called intellectual. For a self-educated woman that is high praise indeed. Yet I am down-to-earth, speak well, and I like to communicate and converse with all sorts of folks about all sorts of topics.
I like to think I am simple and easy going. *smiles*
Yet I realise I am more so intense, have a temper, am quite passionate and at the same time I want to do my best and right by folks. Especially those I love, care about and whom I call Friend. I seek to be open and honest. (Without being blunt and/or hurtful)
I am determined to not live a lie, nor tell any. I am casual, like to be comfortable, and do not stay mad long. Except under unusual circumstances or if I feel or have been betrayed. I have ethics and I live by my own code of “chivalry”. Not always the same as folks in the “modern” world.
I never said I was easy to know or understand.
Trust is now much more important to me than love. That is a big change and a big deal coming from a romantic person like myself. I believe in love. But I also know what it is like to love without a healthy trust. It causes so much pain. I do not want that for anyone again I care about nor myself.
If I Trust you I mean it. I even a week ago had severe trust issues. I still am wary of most. Men especially. Most all my abusers were men. So if I say to You a Man “I Trust You”. Know it means even more than You might realise. Layers of meaning in one word, just like I am layers in one woman. Worth peeking under them and peeling them back also.
Love is not always enough. It “sucks” but it is the truth. You can be in love with someone and it just is not good, healthy, right, and/or the right thing for either of you, and/or others in your life. It hurts this fact. But in the long run it will hurt much worse.
This is experience talking, as well as deep insights given me.
The poets, playwrights, singers, and romantics will have you believe “Love Conquers All’ or “Love is All You Need”. It is not the truth. It sells big, it is what folks want to hear and believe … but it is not true.
It sure sounds nice. But it is sadly not all you need nor is it enough to keep some things or relationships going.
And please know I am neither bitter or jaded about love at all! I have experienced Being in Love several times, and it was both hard and so precious. Love and Relationships take work and dedication on both partners part. One person cannot carry it alone. I know.
In Regards to Love & Me
I hope Someday to be truly loved and to love in return as a Soul Mate, Best Friend & Lovers kind of way, with the right Alpha Male for me and me being a right and true mate for Him.
Until then my hope is to be in a good D/s relationship with mutual affection, passion, with humour and some fun too, and the gift of Trust.
I hope to be to Him His Girl, Woman, Friend, and a lot more. He will have my Trust, Adoration, Affection, Loyalty & Respect. My gifts will be His to utilise. I know He will care for me and guide me with His utmost ability.
I will accept no less, nor will He from me. That I know because I know myself well.
Now for the Man. :)
Thanks For Listening!
Shining in the Dark,